Opinion

Ask Ms. M: Orgasm Blackouts, V-Day Vibrators, Kicking the Love Drug

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Ask Ms. M: Orgasm Blackouts, V-Day Vibrators, Kicking the Love Drug
 
I want to buy my girlfriend a sex toy for Valentine’s Day. Do you have any recommendations?  -Not Threatened By A Vibrator
 
There is nothing sexier than a secure man, NTBAV! Shopping releases endorphins and dopamine in the brain, so why not do it together? Browse in-shop or online to see what piques her interest. Look for items made out of medical grade silicone rather than plastic. BPAs and other chemicals in many plastics are known endocrine (hormone) disruptors that no smart woman should
Form 8 by Jimmyjane

Form 8 by Jimmyjane

ever put in a place as sacred as her vagina! I’ve been a major fan of Jimmyjane products for many years, and can tell you from personal experience, their products truly last. They’re waterproof and come with a charging dock, so no batteries needed. A newcomer on the scene is a toy called the Crescendo by the company Mystery Vibe. This pleasure gem comes with an app to personalize vibration combinations and patterns, plus it can also bend in various ways to get the angle that’s just right. Another great V-day gift option is definitely Unbound Box. Not only do they curate the perfect combination of fun new things to try like lube, toys, and pleasure accessories for their subscription boxes, but they’ve also recently released a line of jewelry, with each piece discreetly transforming into a sex accessory. There’s a choker that turns into a whip, a bracelet that doubles as a cock ring, and earrings that can be used as nipple clamps—just to name a few. Happy hunting! 
 
Hi! I’m saving my virginity for marriage, but still do sexual things. Is it weird that I always want more even when I’m satisfied? Also, I have better orgasms through manual clitoral stimulation than oral stimulation—is this normal? I black out sometimes when I orgasm hard enough—is this normal? Thanks! -Insatiable Virgin
 
Dearest Insatiable Virgin,
 
So you’ve figured out that manual stimulation gets you off better than oral stimulation and you’re worried if you’re normal. Is it normal to like pizza more than hamburgers? They’re both great! It simply depends on your preference in the moment. And the exciting thing is that our preferences usually change throughout the course of a lifetime, which is not only totally normal, but fun as well! When we experience something wonderful, we typically want more of it; no it’s not weird that you’re satisfied and craving more! More dessert, please. And you have the cherry on top to go with it! 
 
As for blacking out when you orgasm, get to your doctor pronto. It’s important to rule out any underlying medical condition, such as an irregular heartbeat, low blood pressure, or a neurological or heart issue. For a perfectly healthy person, blacking out from orgasm would most likely be a vasovagal response otherwise known as vasovagal syncope, with orgasm as the trigger. Additionally, during orgasm neurons are firing in your brain like fourth of July fireworks sending neurochemicals to saturate your brain with all the feels. This can cause overwhelming emotions, laughter, tears, involuntary muscle contractions, temporary blindness, and even passing out. But like I said, see your doctor right away. If all serious medical conditions are ruled out, then be grateful you experience pleasure at such great heights! 
 
I was just dumped and it’s the most painful experience I’ve ever been through. How do I get over it? How do I kill the pain? -Heartbroken
 
I’m sorry you’re suffering dear Heartbroken. With time, discipline, and a lot of self-love and nurturing, you’ll be back to your old self before you know it! As far as your brain is concerned, romantic love operates the same as addiction, so you’ll need to address it as such. Decide on a strategy for those moments when you’re pining for your former lover the most. Call a friend to make you laugh, go for a walk, masturbate, do anything to distract yourself. Most importantly, incorporate new activities into your daily routine, as this will create new neural pathways in the brain. Exercise is top choice for revving up dopamine, so if you can get on a new fitness routine, you’ll be on the road to recovery. Sweat out that broken heart! You could also consider embarking on a new creative pursuit or learning path, be it learning a new language or developing a new meditation practice. 
 
Just as important as revving up dopamine and creating new neural pathways, remove or unfollow your ex from all social media. Do not look at your former beloved’s profile or photos. This will only fuel obsession, plus it does absolutely nothing to help you overcome your broken heart. And by all means, as the saying goes, to get over someone, get under somebody else.
 
Have a question or need some advice? AskM@centerforeroticintelligence.org
 
 

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